Therapy started out the same as last week. I was fighting it with disassociation. My therapist had to stop and ask whether or not I was dissociating which I clearly was. For me it feels like is a very clear block or blankness in my mind whenever I am faced with emotional stress. It happens every time my wife and I get into a heated conversation, or I should say when my wife gets into a heated conversation at me, or she is showing emotions in general. I am unable to think in that moment. No words or thoughts come to me at all.
She stop the session to reiterate that I was not going to show crazy emotions or anything like that which I don’t feel like I was worried about that but it seemed to be something she felt she needed to sell me.
I asked my therapist what actions I was outwardly showing to make her think that I was dissosciating so I could understand and try to look at them from an outsiders perspective. She was sort of stumped by this but from my understanding of her explanation was that since she sees so many clients with similar telltale signs of disassociation.