I applied for a flameworking scholarship and got it!

I applied for a flameworking scholarship and got it!

MY ART THERAPY FLAMEWORKING CLASS AT PGC

What is art therapy?

Welcome to my first art / creative post.    Even though this isn't actually "Art therapy" by definition I am stealing it from the pedestal upon where it sits, getting some fingerprints on it and saying.  Art therapy can be anything you want it to be by golly!   Golly?  Damn, what is this therapy doing to me?!  :D

My point is creative art therapy can be anything you want it to be.  That is the awesome thing about art.   There is no right, no wrong just you and your creativity.  

  I wish I would have known  about art therapy when I was a teen.  I could have saved myself from scaring my shoulders with razor blade.  Something that set me up for a lifetime of having to  explain what happened to them .  Since I am getting older, I don't have the need to  explain my scars  much anymore.  Strangely enough I always hated having to do it, but now I  want  to share it as a  learning tool.      

I wish I would have known about art therapy when I was a teen.  I could have saved myself from scaring my shoulders with razor blade.  Something that set me up for a lifetime of having to explain what happened to them.

Since I am getting older, I don't have the need to explain my scars much anymore.  Strangely enough I always hated having to do it, but now I want to share it as a learning tool.  

 

Benefits of Art therapy

  • It creates a physical item in this world which can be seen, touched and understood.   It can be difficult for some feeling emotional pain to communicate what you are feeling.   I am not talking about children either.  We live in a society where men are raised to not feel or show  our emotions which leads to not knowing how to handle them.   When I write it like that there is no surprise there is so much violence and hate in this world..  ( I wish I would have known about this when I was a teen.   I could have saved myself from scaring shoulders with razor blades setting myself up for a life time of having to explain what happened.
  • As stated before.  There are no rights, no wrongs.
  • Is a great distraction tool if that is what you need.
  • It calms the mind.
  • It gives you something to do.
  • Some forms can easily be done in the home.
  • Some require you to get into a group and be social which is something most of us need even if we don't believe it.  ( Yes I am speaking from personal experience )
  • An artist at PGC told me that she loved PGC's various types of studios because based on her mood she could choose the type of art she wanted to create.  At that moment I had never thought about actually needing to be social as a form of mental 

About PGC

Pittsburgh Glass Center is a nonprofit, public access school, gallery and state-of-the-art glass studio dedicated to teaching, creating and promoting glass art.

World-renowned artists come here to make studio glass art.

People interested in learning more about glass come here to take a class, explore the contemporary gallery and watch live hot glass demonstrations.

Day 1:  Flameworking fundamentals

 Clear rods and color stringers on day 1.

Clear rods and color stringers on day 1.

I started my Flame Fundamentals class  yesterday. 

It is an beginner to intermediate class that normally costs $800.00 but I received a veteran scholarship so I got to go for free.   

This particular summer intensive is a 5 day class that goes from 9AM - 5PM then breaks for a hour for dinner then you can come back and practice until 10PM.

Struggling to get started.

I found myself not really wanting to be there for some reason. 

I love working with glass even if I am not very good at it, but for some reason it was was stressful, and I didn't want to deal with the stress.  It is only my 3rd time doing flame-working, so I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but for some reason I couldn't help it. 

My inner voice ( The bully inside me ) was just beating me up the whole time.   By the time I class was over I was completely depressed, and unable to hold back my emotions.   I pretty much fought back tears all the way home, but I was to tired to hold everything in.   

The drive home

I don't know WTF I am doing.   I wanted to scream out loud and start punching and smashing everything around me.  

I felt better when I got home.  I played a couple League of Legends matches as Mundo, and I was terrible.  Which didn't make me feel any better.

Around my wife

When my wife got home I shut down.   She seemed like she was in a good mood which is nice because it often seems like she is exhausted and in just as bad of a mood as me.   I kept myself numbed for as long as I could.   She was hovering around me being extra nice which was nice, but it made it even harder to keep myself from feeling my emotions.   

I went and sat on the first landing of the stairs, not wanting to go up because I would be alone, but not wanting to communicate and tell my wife what was wrong. 

Do I even know?  Tears started running down my face.   I know she saw, but there was nothing I could do about it.  

I told her that I wanted to run away, but there was no point because I can't get away from myself.  I am sort of missing alcohol right now.  That would get me away for awhile, but even that just makes me feel sick.  I need the memory of being sick to stick with me.   I don't need that poison in my life right now...  or ever again for that matter.  

 Glass wing or fin example.

Glass wing or fin example.

DAY 2: TRYING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM

Before going into class, I was trying to pinpoint exactly what I was struggling with.   

I have been feeling hyper sensitive to stress lately, which isn't a good feeling.  I decided to ask ask the instructor for some help.   He went over some of the things that I was struggling with, and I was feeling better.

Around 5 pm again I started to get depressed again.   I started to wonder if I had enough food in me, but I didn't think that was it. 

I think I was feeling guilty for not staying until 10 PM the night prior.   Me being the destructive person that I am decided that I wasn't going to go and practice tonight either.

DAY 3:  ACCEPTANCE

 Marbles and cane I made during class.

Marbles and cane I made during class.

Still struggling with getting the motivation to go to class, feeling like an idiot for being given an $800.00 class for free and not using every single second had worn me down.   

After fighting and fighting these thought I was finally able to realize make some realizations.

  • I was being WAY to hard on myself.
  • PGC is an amazing, welcoming place.   There are many there who have the same struggles and would understand.

 

 

DAY 4 

On day 4 I was feeling much better.  I pretty much just played with glass at my own speed, and just stopped worrying about sticking around after class to practice.   I decided to be happy that I was making it to class at all.

We visited a scientific glass studio for the University of Pittsburgh, and had the opportunity to see some laboratory glass being repaired and played around with some Prince Rupert’s drops. 

Day 5

IMAGE.JPG

I had a great day on day 5 I just worked on the glass that I wanted to work on and won a glass signed by Tim Drier.

Top 3 brain zap home remedies I used tot treat my SSRI withdrawals

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